Interesting! Any suggestions for how to implement this at something like an info table or a display in which you're holding a sign or have some other barricade between you (like at GAP for instance)? Obviously these are less than ideal situations to have dialog but can this strategy be implemented in those case, other than perhaps angling your chair so you're facing off-center? I know I instinctively do certain things like sit down if someone approaches an info table hostile or angry, since that tells them I'm not in a confrontational stance and they psychologically may feel they have the upper hand since I'm in a bodily submissive position. Would that fall into that sort of strategy?
Great question. Even when you're behind a table or barricade you can still pivot yourself so that you're not directly facing the person. If possible, never sit in a chair at an info table. It makes you look less engaged and people won't stick around as long. Also, if you're at GAP, try to not be behind the barricades. It's way easier to walk up to someone who's staring at the exhibit and ask them what they think about the issue. You're starting out shoulder to shoulder, which is right where you want to be. The main thing is to find ways to show you're relaxed. So there's the story I told here: https://youtu.be/X59V_IhyaA4?t=15m18s about finding a way to at least appear relaxed from behind a poll table. That technique would work at a barricade, something I've done before: http://joshbrahm.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/jessica-featured.jpg Sometimes I can successfully move around the table so that I'm closer to the person and then I'm obviously facing an angled diection. Just depends on whether you can do that without seeming creepy. I do it while I'm talking mid-sentence. Seems more natural. I also like sitting on poll tables. I try not to block other people, but this is more relaxed. Here's an example from a recent outreach: http://on.fb.me/1dXTVQ9 Part of the reason I did this that time was because the girl I was talking to was considerably shorter than me, and I wanted to get as close to her eye-line as possible. I didn't want her to feel like I was leveraging my height against her rhetorically or anything. This girl specifically said that my body language was helpful to her and made it more likely that I would change her mind.
This is really helpful to me. Reading it, I just know how much this is really, really true, in any of my experience. And yet, when I am trying to communicate something serious to my kids, I always tel them to look at me. Hmmmmm..... I think maybe that is off. It sounds like I ought to try to model more relaxed ways of showing your listening, rather than push for eye contact.
I've used this technique since taking the Dale Carnegie course. Non-oppositional posture plus finding a point of agreement from which to launch a possibly difficult conversation are the two most effective advocacy tools.
If possible, never sit in a chair at an info table. It makes you look less engaged and people won't stick around as long. Also, if you're at GAP, try to not be behind the barricades. It's way easier to walk up to someone who's staring at the exhibit and ask them what they think about the issue. You're starting out shoulder to shoulder, which is right where you want to be.
The main thing is to find ways to show you're relaxed. So there's the story I told here: https://youtu.be/X59V_IhyaA4?t=15m18s about finding a way to at least appear relaxed from behind a poll table. That technique would work at a barricade, something I've done before: http://joshbrahm.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/jessica-featured.jpg
Sometimes I can successfully move around the table so that I'm closer to the person and then I'm obviously facing an angled diection. Just depends on whether you can do that without seeming creepy. I do it while I'm talking mid-sentence. Seems more natural.
I also like sitting on poll tables. I try not to block other people, but this is more relaxed. Here's an example from a recent outreach: http://on.fb.me/1dXTVQ9 Part of the reason I did this that time was because the girl I was talking to was considerably shorter than me, and I wanted to get as close to her eye-line as possible. I didn't want her to feel like I was leveraging my height against her rhetorically or anything. This girl specifically said that my body language was helpful to her and made it more likely that I would change her mind.
The original "How to Win Friends and influence People" course. My employer sponsored me in the early 1990's. This training provided the foundation for my success at Bible College and Pre-Nursing studies. Definitely helped me in my role as an Executive Director at a Life-Affirming PRC.